I wish

I wish… I wish I could really do all the things I want to do, and do all the things I say I will do, I wish I could express what I really feel and what I think, because I feel that what people see of me is like what I see when I look at myself in the mirror (you know, it’s you, but not really you, not the real you, a flat image of what you are on the outside)… I wish I wouldn’t have to put words on to what I think and what I want to express, it’s so hard for people to understand fully (for some people to understand even the bare minimum), I wish I could make the people that surround me understand without having to word my meaning to them, that way I could tell them all I want them to hear, not little scattered bits of irrelevant information interrupted here and there by their own one inch by one inch and a half of mental sky pieces… fuck!! Not even here can I make my meaning clear… only me----now (this minute, this place) can I picture it in my own mind, who knows if I will read this tomorrow and not know what fuck I had in mind when I wrote this (which will probably be the case)