God I know you don't leave me, but that doesn't mean its not hard! I'm kinda lonely... To not say quite a bit lonely. If that's what you want, I'll go on and wait for better days to come.
Each day I feel a step closer to where you want to bring me. I don't even know where or how, but all these doors have kept appearing and you have decided if they are open or closed.
Take me close to you, and don't let me despair. I want to do your will.
Hear my prayers, even when they are whispers!
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
...
GODDDDDDDDDDDD! I can't! How about?????
It's too hard God! You drain me out...
I want to follow you God, but I suddenly feel like you're gone.
Don't break my heart.
It's too hard God! You drain me out...
I want to follow you God, but I suddenly feel like you're gone.
Don't break my heart.
Friday, December 18, 2009
I will worship you
My God, my ONLY thing. You are teaching me that you know me. You are telling me that you can change my life as soon as I thought I owned it.
My God... It is so hard!!! God I cry and I ask you why. God you know and I know that you know.
Thank you for opening doors and for closing others.
God I don't know what you want, but I know that I have asked you to come, and take me where you will. I worship you my God. I want to please you. Guide me and tell me God, what it is you ask.
You speak to me so silently sometimes. Please heal me.
Put words in my mouth to speak to others, blow your love through me.
Matthew 25:14-30
14"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15To one he gave five talents[a] of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
19"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'
21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'
23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'
26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
HELP ME GOD to do your will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My God... It is so hard!!! God I cry and I ask you why. God you know and I know that you know.
Thank you for opening doors and for closing others.
God I don't know what you want, but I know that I have asked you to come, and take me where you will. I worship you my God. I want to please you. Guide me and tell me God, what it is you ask.
You speak to me so silently sometimes. Please heal me.
Put words in my mouth to speak to others, blow your love through me.
Matthew 25:14-30
14"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15To one he gave five talents[a] of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
19"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'
21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'
23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'
26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'
HELP ME GOD to do your will!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Changes
I don't even know how it happened. Suddenly a rush of change invaded me. It's strange that such a rush would come when I am at the best I have ever been. Everything I ever wanted has come true.
I thought I would never be able to know God and have a relationship with him as I have now. I thought I would never meet a person I could fall in love with and want to share my life with forever. I thought I would never do what I liked to to, or be good at it. The list could go on, but the point is that when I am at this point, I suddenly feel like God is giving me something more.
The feeling is strange. I am happy and I want it, but at the same time I am sad and I don't want it. I am afraid, but I am exited. I feel tied up but free.
I wish it would go away. I wish I could go on as I have been and be happy. But a feel like I can't.
I feel like I have to take a step away from where I have been stepping. I keep thinking that it is a big deal and a second after I think that it's no biggy.
It's strange to feel something different to what I have always felt. I don't really know how to face it. As soon as I start thinking about it I feel like it will never be, that I would not be able to do it. But then I realize that I am free and I can take these chances, and that nobody will stop me. Nobody will care if I fail or if I succeed.
It is time for me to respond to God. I don't know exactly how, or when or where. All I want is to change and see new things. I am scared of losing things and people I will never have close to me again.
But I have one thing clear. If God is calling me to this, I know he wants the best for me, and the best is my happiness. So I will trust and follow.
So God guide me. Take me and make me as you plan. I will follow and I will take the blows.
I thought I would never be able to know God and have a relationship with him as I have now. I thought I would never meet a person I could fall in love with and want to share my life with forever. I thought I would never do what I liked to to, or be good at it. The list could go on, but the point is that when I am at this point, I suddenly feel like God is giving me something more.
The feeling is strange. I am happy and I want it, but at the same time I am sad and I don't want it. I am afraid, but I am exited. I feel tied up but free.
I wish it would go away. I wish I could go on as I have been and be happy. But a feel like I can't.
I feel like I have to take a step away from where I have been stepping. I keep thinking that it is a big deal and a second after I think that it's no biggy.
It's strange to feel something different to what I have always felt. I don't really know how to face it. As soon as I start thinking about it I feel like it will never be, that I would not be able to do it. But then I realize that I am free and I can take these chances, and that nobody will stop me. Nobody will care if I fail or if I succeed.
It is time for me to respond to God. I don't know exactly how, or when or where. All I want is to change and see new things. I am scared of losing things and people I will never have close to me again.
But I have one thing clear. If God is calling me to this, I know he wants the best for me, and the best is my happiness. So I will trust and follow.
So God guide me. Take me and make me as you plan. I will follow and I will take the blows.
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