YOU are first Lord.
YOU give me a new everyday, YOU give me life, YOU give me possibilities.
YOU are creator. I would be less than nothing if YOU wouldn't have created me.
I am a sinner God. It seems so natural for me to run away from You when I sin. It takes heavy strength in my spirit to thrust itself towards You with all its might after I sin.
I need YOU so close to me. I am so weak and ignorant. I need YOU to fill me up.
I know YOU can fill me up. Don't let the world tell me that it's stupid to "over spiritualize" things. Although it is true sometimes, I won't fool myself. Your peace is real, Your presence is real.
_____________________
YOU COMPLETE ME. YOU ARE MINE, YOU ARE MY LOVE. THANK YOU.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
UNANXIOUS AND UNINTIMIDATED
God speaks when we ask for His words. He takes me to places I would not get to alone. I ask for one thing, and He gives me something way better.
So... I asked God to teach me about trust today, but He decided to go on and teach me about STRENGTH. Weird, but He knows what He is doing. So this is what He taught me today:
Be brave, be strong. Don't give up.
Expect God to get here soon.
STRENGTH comes straight from God.
God's my strength, he's also my song, and now he's my salvation.
HEAR THE SHOUTS, HEAR THE TRIUMPH SONGS.
God will make it ALL PLAIN. (2 Timothy 2:7)
Just say yes or no. Just say what is true. (James 5:12)
And for me, as a WOMAN:
Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. (1 peter 3:4)
UNANXIOUS AND UNINTIMIDATED.
So... I asked God to teach me about trust today, but He decided to go on and teach me about STRENGTH. Weird, but He knows what He is doing. So this is what He taught me today:
Be brave, be strong. Don't give up.
Expect God to get here soon.
STRENGTH comes straight from God.
God's my strength, he's also my song, and now he's my salvation.
HEAR THE SHOUTS, HEAR THE TRIUMPH SONGS.
God will make it ALL PLAIN. (2 Timothy 2:7)
Just say yes or no. Just say what is true. (James 5:12)
And for me, as a WOMAN:
Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. (1 peter 3:4)
UNANXIOUS AND UNINTIMIDATED.
Facing it
I don't want a relationship, I don't want to give my heart to anyone, I don't want to get involved, I don't want temptations, I don't want distractions, I don't want doubts, I don't want wounds in my heart. I don't want to be on the market. I don't want any romanticism... ughhhh I don't!
That said, I feel relieved. And it's the truth.
I want to be alone, and happy, and free. Cause I can.
I want the right time to come, with whoever it is. I don't know who it is, or where.
All I know is that I want to be free from all this. I don't need it. I don't need it now.
I don't care about any man right now. I want friends, real friends. I'm sick of flirting and doubting and conspiring.
No more of that. No more. Ever.
I want to be free. I love it.
Many many months of this is what I want. For real.
That said, I feel relieved. And it's the truth.
I want to be alone, and happy, and free. Cause I can.
I want the right time to come, with whoever it is. I don't know who it is, or where.
All I know is that I want to be free from all this. I don't need it. I don't need it now.
I don't care about any man right now. I want friends, real friends. I'm sick of flirting and doubting and conspiring.
No more of that. No more. Ever.
I want to be free. I love it.
Many many months of this is what I want. For real.
I need silence again
I NEED YOU LORD!!!
Please speak to me, in the silence.
So much talking... I miss the silence in my soul.
Give me your tranquility.
Calm the waves, give me soft wind.
I need need need You. Please come.
Keep moving the pieces in my life, do your will. KEEP MY HEART.
My heart is yours Lord. Keep it. Keep me pure, keep me focused.
You are all I need.
Please speak to me, in the silence.
So much talking... I miss the silence in my soul.
Give me your tranquility.
Calm the waves, give me soft wind.
I need need need You. Please come.
Keep moving the pieces in my life, do your will. KEEP MY HEART.
My heart is yours Lord. Keep it. Keep me pure, keep me focused.
You are all I need.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline
Colossians 3:14-16
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Its You and its me
Lord I know this is about You and its about me... but it also involves all the people that surround me and interact with me everyday.
The way I communicate with you must become a habit to me, but it must also become a habit for me to share what you give me.
How can I be humble Lord? How can I share You without sounding proud or condescending? You are clear with me, how can I be clear with others and still transmit all Your love? Its such a challenge Lord.
Sometimes I think that the easiest way to be humble is to stay silent. But I can't stay silent anymore! Show me how to be like You, give me your love to share.
Lord I need You so bad right now, I need your embrace and your soothing words. Things happen so quickly that its hard to stop and listen to Your voice.
I don't like having to decide things that involve strong feelings in my heart. When my heart is only put on You, things are so obvious... But when my heart and my selfish feelings interfere I get confused and sometimes I don't know where to turn.
Give me YOU Lord!!! I ONLY want YOU! Help me focus. Thank you Jesus for everything, thank you for being my friend and my companion. Thank you for your example, thank you for listening to my prayers, thank you for your presence.
I love you Lord, I want to serve you my whole life, please take me where you want to take me and show me your way. Keep putting the right people in my way, keep showing me how to serve.
Give me love to share my Lord. Give me patience, give me wisdom.
I love you Lord. Forgive me. Guide me. Make me humble Lord.
Speak to my heart today.
The way I communicate with you must become a habit to me, but it must also become a habit for me to share what you give me.
How can I be humble Lord? How can I share You without sounding proud or condescending? You are clear with me, how can I be clear with others and still transmit all Your love? Its such a challenge Lord.
Sometimes I think that the easiest way to be humble is to stay silent. But I can't stay silent anymore! Show me how to be like You, give me your love to share.
Lord I need You so bad right now, I need your embrace and your soothing words. Things happen so quickly that its hard to stop and listen to Your voice.
I don't like having to decide things that involve strong feelings in my heart. When my heart is only put on You, things are so obvious... But when my heart and my selfish feelings interfere I get confused and sometimes I don't know where to turn.
Give me YOU Lord!!! I ONLY want YOU! Help me focus. Thank you Jesus for everything, thank you for being my friend and my companion. Thank you for your example, thank you for listening to my prayers, thank you for your presence.
I love you Lord, I want to serve you my whole life, please take me where you want to take me and show me your way. Keep putting the right people in my way, keep showing me how to serve.
Give me love to share my Lord. Give me patience, give me wisdom.
I love you Lord. Forgive me. Guide me. Make me humble Lord.
Speak to my heart today.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Gossip
1 Peter 3:10-17
For,
"Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
Dear Lord,
Today I was wondering how it is that so suddenly I became sensible to your voice and your wishes. It changes all the perspective of things.
Before I complained I could not hear you and I did not know what to do, and now I hear your voice and sometimes its such a challenge to obey.
I am sorry when you speak to me and I am slow to answer. I am sorry when you ask things of me and I ignore you. I am sorry that sometimes you are not my priority.
I must run away from gossip. It is my weakness. I do not want to talk about people Lord. I want to love them like you do.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 5:4
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Next time I will avoid the situation, I will stop my tongue. Flood me with your grace and give me a new sheet.
Thank you for speaking into my heart. I want to be faithful. I know it is possible. Jesus you are King, you are God.
Give me your love, teach me how to love.
I need your grace.
For,
"Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
Dear Lord,
Today I was wondering how it is that so suddenly I became sensible to your voice and your wishes. It changes all the perspective of things.
Before I complained I could not hear you and I did not know what to do, and now I hear your voice and sometimes its such a challenge to obey.
I am sorry when you speak to me and I am slow to answer. I am sorry when you ask things of me and I ignore you. I am sorry that sometimes you are not my priority.
I must run away from gossip. It is my weakness. I do not want to talk about people Lord. I want to love them like you do.
Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ephesians 5:4
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Next time I will avoid the situation, I will stop my tongue. Flood me with your grace and give me a new sheet.
Thank you for speaking into my heart. I want to be faithful. I know it is possible. Jesus you are King, you are God.
Give me your love, teach me how to love.
I need your grace.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
God has words for every season
Matthew 10:10
You don't need a lot of equipment. You are the equipment, and all you need to keep that going is three meals a day.
Romans 12:11
Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
1 Corinthians 15:58
Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.
2 Corinthians 10:18
"If you want to claim credit, claim it for God." What you say about yourself means nothing in God's work. It's what God says about you that makes the difference.
You don't need a lot of equipment. You are the equipment, and all you need to keep that going is three meals a day.
Romans 12:11
Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
1 Corinthians 15:58
Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.
2 Corinthians 10:18
"If you want to claim credit, claim it for God." What you say about yourself means nothing in God's work. It's what God says about you that makes the difference.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Sweet companion
Dear Lord,
Why would I ever want anything else besides your love? It is so complete, so fulfilling. I had a desire for so long, a desire to know you closely, like a companion, not only like a force or a white bearded man... I love that I've met you.
Thank you my dear Lord.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You complete me, I am worthy in your eyes. I don't have to earn your love. I don't have to fake. I don't have to show off. I don't have to be jealous, or sneaky, or manipulative.
Everything with you is so straight forward.
I want to be faithful to you first so I can be faithful to everyone else.
Stay with me, protect me, please don't leave me. I need you, you are the only one I can depend on, the only one I can give my heart to... and never take it back.
I love you!
Why would I ever want anything else besides your love? It is so complete, so fulfilling. I had a desire for so long, a desire to know you closely, like a companion, not only like a force or a white bearded man... I love that I've met you.
Thank you my dear Lord.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You complete me, I am worthy in your eyes. I don't have to earn your love. I don't have to fake. I don't have to show off. I don't have to be jealous, or sneaky, or manipulative.
Everything with you is so straight forward.
I want to be faithful to you first so I can be faithful to everyone else.
Stay with me, protect me, please don't leave me. I need you, you are the only one I can depend on, the only one I can give my heart to... and never take it back.
I love you!
I want, but you decide.
I want to travel everywhere.
I want joy and I want energy.
I want a car.
I want an adventurous partner... some day.
That is my desire. But your will comes first.
Show me my true value in YOU
Saturate my life, fill every part of me with YOU.
Father, I come to You again, I need your reassuring voice and your steady grip. Show me my true value in you, fill me with your love.
Give me LOVE, healing love, forgiving love, tolerant love. Give me patience, all I have is in you LORD. Take my troubles, take my frustrations, refresh me. I have no place to hide Lord, only in you.
Give me my place. Give me wisdom. You constructed this, and you have brought me here, keep showing me every step to take, I promise I will follow.
I want to be faithful to you Father, and I want to be honest with myself. My heart is soft only for you Lord, give me wisdom to know the limits I need to put in every relationship in my life.
I want to obey, thank you for your soft hints, I want to be only yours. I want more of you.
Keep away all temptations, I am weak my Lord, hold my hand, be my light.
Thank you cause you are faithful, I know you love me, but I fail Lord. I need your strength.
TEACH ME TO TRUST YOU, WITH EVERYTHING. I KNOW YOU HAVE A PLAN. I WANT TO TRUST YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.
Protect me my dear God, blow your sweet breath over my beaten body, soul and heart.
What I am, I am in YOU, you give me my identity, and you love me.
All I want is your love and your approval.
YOU know what is going on. Guide me LORD, my LORD, my KING. Don't let me ever forget that you are ALIVE and close to me.
Give me your light. I know it's not over.
Give me JOY! I want to jump and laugh cause you LORD are the source of my happiness.
I love you.
MORE JOY, MORE FREEDOM, MORE OF YOU IN MY LIFE!
Father, I come to You again, I need your reassuring voice and your steady grip. Show me my true value in you, fill me with your love.
Give me LOVE, healing love, forgiving love, tolerant love. Give me patience, all I have is in you LORD. Take my troubles, take my frustrations, refresh me. I have no place to hide Lord, only in you.
Give me my place. Give me wisdom. You constructed this, and you have brought me here, keep showing me every step to take, I promise I will follow.
I want to be faithful to you Father, and I want to be honest with myself. My heart is soft only for you Lord, give me wisdom to know the limits I need to put in every relationship in my life.
I want to obey, thank you for your soft hints, I want to be only yours. I want more of you.
Keep away all temptations, I am weak my Lord, hold my hand, be my light.
Thank you cause you are faithful, I know you love me, but I fail Lord. I need your strength.
TEACH ME TO TRUST YOU, WITH EVERYTHING. I KNOW YOU HAVE A PLAN. I WANT TO TRUST YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.
Protect me my dear God, blow your sweet breath over my beaten body, soul and heart.
What I am, I am in YOU, you give me my identity, and you love me.
All I want is your love and your approval.
YOU know what is going on. Guide me LORD, my LORD, my KING. Don't let me ever forget that you are ALIVE and close to me.
Give me your light. I know it's not over.
Give me JOY! I want to jump and laugh cause you LORD are the source of my happiness.
I love you.
MORE JOY, MORE FREEDOM, MORE OF YOU IN MY LIFE!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Man, God is so straight forward
Matthew 5
48"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
1 Timothy 2
Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it.
48"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
1 Timothy 2
Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Joy
Joy!!!
My heart is full of joy, just because God is so real. He is full of mercy for me!
Only one thing on my mind, over all other things... Peace and energy to praise Him!
God stay close to me please!!!
My heart is full of joy, just because God is so real. He is full of mercy for me!
Only one thing on my mind, over all other things... Peace and energy to praise Him!
God stay close to me please!!!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Free
To be obedient God, and to listen to your guiding words. That is what I want.
What I am is in you, you give me my breath every day. You know what is best for my life.
I am free in You.
My heart is free in you.
What I am is in you, you give me my breath every day. You know what is best for my life.
I am free in You.
My heart is free in you.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Amazing Lord
God, thank you for your presence in my life. Thank you for your love. Thank you for giving me life. Let me never forget your kindness, even on the darkest days.
Let me never complain, or criticize others. Teach me how to love, teach me how to be humble and simple like you. Keep the light shining at my feet and give me hope for my future.
I am sorry when I doubt about your provision, I trust you, and I want to rely completely on your grace. I have nothing on this earth, so teach me how to slip past these things I call needs.
Show me your way to live.
Let me never complain, or criticize others. Teach me how to love, teach me how to be humble and simple like you. Keep the light shining at my feet and give me hope for my future.
I am sorry when I doubt about your provision, I trust you, and I want to rely completely on your grace. I have nothing on this earth, so teach me how to slip past these things I call needs.
Show me your way to live.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
God owes me a phone call
I would like to be writing this to God. But... I'm writing to myself. I know God is here, but I have not been able to speak to him in one-to-one conversation in a while. He blesses me and he shows me His love, but I miss his words. I wish we would guide me once again, when my steps need to take new directions. I don't want to decide things just because they are the logic things to do. I want God to guide me and to bring me where He wants me to go.
I feel like my patience runs out sometimes. I want God to tell me whats up. Kinda like I'm loving the present and I don't want it to end. He has driven me to radical decisions about my life, and I think radical should continue... or not?
My heart is running loose (so to call it) and my feelings feel like they are going a little crazy. God needs to step in sometime soon and put in some order!
Planning long term is not working so well. I love whats happening now, and I love what I want to do... but I just can't manage to see how I will jump from now to the future.
I know I need to trust Him. But, I can't just wait around all my life... !!!!!!!
So, yes... that is what's going on.
God owes me a phone call... I think.
PS. my... feelings... are... a... mess... I... need... some... fresh... air...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Complete!
Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Change of seasons
God is subtle but aggressive, he is gentle but strong, he is simple but wise. He is so big... but comes down into my brokenness and restores me. He rains grace over me, and then dries me with his warmth and compassion. He pushes me, and then brings me to stop.
He is silent, then he floods me with instructions.
He is the careful father that lets go of his baby so she can learn how to walk, and then hugs her closely when she comes to him, stumbling.
He is silent, then he floods me with instructions.
He is the careful father that lets go of his baby so she can learn how to walk, and then hugs her closely when she comes to him, stumbling.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
A miracle
God is faithful, he is my loving father. He hears my prayers and brings joy to my heart. Today I took a big step and wrote a letter to my mom and my sisters, to let them see many dark places in my soul. I asked for forgiveness and even told them how much I loved them and admired each one of them.
God has his time and he is wise. He knows when things should go quickly and when to take His time.
This time he acted quickly, and inspired my mom with this amazing letter. It has brought so much happiness to my heart!!! He has blessed me with a beautiful example in my mom, and given me encouragement for my future (whatever it may bring).
Each day I trust Him more and more, and feel safe in His wide arms.
Joy!!! I am proud to share this:
Hi Mick!
I`m glad you`re having this nice experience over there, Mick. Now you know what I meant about my wonderful years at St. Olaf. It was like that. Friends. People who understand what you`re talking about. Opportunities to work out your past. Bonding. Discovering what your family really means to you. Setting priorites. Finding out that real people are all around you. It will surely change your life. You will feel like there was time a before and a time after this experience. It`s the best thing that you could have ever done with your time this year. You will never regret it. I really mean it, I relate totally, and I`m so happy for you. It`s kind of funny, but if we didn`t have inside of us all that stuff that we kind of consider the bad stuff, we wouldn`t notice as much when we start to get things straight. It`s a blessing in disguise, I think. I know so many people who didn`t even notice when any kind of a transition took place in their life. When you tell them about your experience, they feel they`ve missed out on something. Yeah, they missed out on the bad stuff!! But the Resurrection would never have come if there hadn`t first been a Passion and all of its suffering. The past is the past, and that`s the best place to keep it, for sure! But feeling like you have been able to work out a few things makes you feel like at least that much bad stuff has been resolved, and isn`t occupying a bunch of space in the dark closets of your mind, and you start to feel peace. You start to feel motivated to move on, construct better relationships, forgive, love, and serve. It`s a very Christian manifestation in our lives to feel something dead come to life in us. That is the love that is real love, not selfish love. It`s the kind that`s contagious, that shines on those around us, that makes us feel rewarded for all we`ve gone through. It`s the action of the Holy Spirit.
God has his time and he is wise. He knows when things should go quickly and when to take His time.
This time he acted quickly, and inspired my mom with this amazing letter. It has brought so much happiness to my heart!!! He has blessed me with a beautiful example in my mom, and given me encouragement for my future (whatever it may bring).
Each day I trust Him more and more, and feel safe in His wide arms.
Joy!!! I am proud to share this:
Hi Mick!
I`m glad you`re having this nice experience over there, Mick. Now you know what I meant about my wonderful years at St. Olaf. It was like that. Friends. People who understand what you`re talking about. Opportunities to work out your past. Bonding. Discovering what your family really means to you. Setting priorites. Finding out that real people are all around you. It will surely change your life. You will feel like there was time a before and a time after this experience. It`s the best thing that you could have ever done with your time this year. You will never regret it. I really mean it, I relate totally, and I`m so happy for you. It`s kind of funny, but if we didn`t have inside of us all that stuff that we kind of consider the bad stuff, we wouldn`t notice as much when we start to get things straight. It`s a blessing in disguise, I think. I know so many people who didn`t even notice when any kind of a transition took place in their life. When you tell them about your experience, they feel they`ve missed out on something. Yeah, they missed out on the bad stuff!! But the Resurrection would never have come if there hadn`t first been a Passion and all of its suffering. The past is the past, and that`s the best place to keep it, for sure! But feeling like you have been able to work out a few things makes you feel like at least that much bad stuff has been resolved, and isn`t occupying a bunch of space in the dark closets of your mind, and you start to feel peace. You start to feel motivated to move on, construct better relationships, forgive, love, and serve. It`s a very Christian manifestation in our lives to feel something dead come to life in us. That is the love that is real love, not selfish love. It`s the kind that`s contagious, that shines on those around us, that makes us feel rewarded for all we`ve gone through. It`s the action of the Holy Spirit.
Believe me, no one could be happier to hear you telling about all these things that have been taking place in your soul than I am. I`ve prayed so much for it, and I feel rewarded too. I knew it would come someday. Isn`t it amazing how important it is to open up to people, and have them open up to you? God speaks to us through the Word of the Bible, but he also speaks through other people when they show love and understanding toward one another. Enjoy the time you have left, and make the best use of it. You`re not a new person, you`re just a person with a new outlook on life. Be sure to thank the good Lord that He let you be one of the lucky people who could perceive the transformation so vividly. Consider it a reward for looking in the right place to find the answers. Everyone has sufferings. It wouldn`t be fair to think that our own are more than anyone else`s. Some people just don`t pray about that, and don`t look for spiritual illumination. They just take it out on others, and feel victimized; something that will never get them anywhere. Because in the end there is nothing more awful than a person who goes around blaming others for what they consider wasn`t fair or beneficial in their life. On the other hand, it`s so inspiring to be around someone who realizes there is a lot more to be thankful for than there isto complain about; someone who knows that nothing comes from us, and that everything comes from God. When you realize that what has happened is that you have been rewarded with a more Christian attitude about your past, and you use your freedom to decide to turn the rest of your life into an act of thanksgiving, you are truly blessed because that is what we are supposed to do with our lives. It´s so easy to let all the truly good things we find in life block the Light of Jesus that wants to shine on us. There are so many good things in life. But if any of those good things gets in the way, we already broke the first Commandment. That is why I am so happy for you. I´m relieved of a suffering of my own too. I knew you had some dark closets in there that needed to be opened to the light, but you had to find the Light on your own. I won`t stop praying for you. I believe a mother`s prayers are very meaningful and effective. I know that many things I want for my children can only come as a result of prayer, and I try to be faithful and diligent in asking for them. Now you can understand better that if you really grow in your ability to let God love you, you will find true happiness. It will become clear that much of what we interpret as suffering is really our own self love clouding our vision. Everything God gives us is good. And we must thank Him for everything. We are the ones who refuse to accept that everything that happens to us or doesn´t happen to us is good. We blind ourselves into a state of resentment. And that resentment is what keeps the Light from coming in, and also from shining out to others. If it wouldn`t be for the dose of God´s love that we willingly accept, we would have nothing worth sharing with others. We can be talented, intelligent, virtuous, charismatic, or just plain cool, but if we think any of that came from us, it`s already worthless. So much of all those good things are wasted by people who just don`t want to acknowledge that their own attributes have been given to them by their Savior as a means to strengthen His Church and to increase the number of believers in His teachings. Not even one split second of our lifetime belongs to us, and not even one cell of our body belongs to us. Not even one good thought or one good action comes from us, but rather all good thoughts and all good actions are a result of God´s love. That doesn´t mean that people who aren´t grateful to God aren´t good or that they don´t do good things. Not at all. It just means that there are only two ways to live life; in awareness of God´s omnipotence, or in blindness and self'-love. We have to accept our grayness, while at the same time dedicating ourselves to becoming more and more subject to God´s presence and less and less enslaved to ourselves. That´s the definition of a saint: the one who never gives up trying to put God first.
That´s why it´s so important to do a housecleaning of your soul like you´re doing. There is no other way to remove all the filth that has accumulated in there because of resentments and selfishness than to let the light in by forgiving and thanking. It´s like the example of the bottle. The only way to get the air out isn´t by blowing or sucking, it´s by filling it with something else. I really believe that is why it`s so necessary for a person to get away and have the opportunity to do all that without having the old program acting on you at the same time. You have a chance to kind of get things straight and get your bearings before returning. Then when you do return, you won`t respond to the old program any more. You will have lots of energy to shine on others, and you will make a difference. You´ll be able to fill the old bottle you come back to, with some of the new things you´ve been getting yours filled with.
That´s great that you get up early and are neat!! Miracles happen all the time!! haha. Grammy and Gramps asked about you. Do you write to them? They would love to hear from you. They are very interested about your experience. I think you should take advantage of the fact that it has been such a positive experience to tell them some of those heavy things you wrote to us about appreciating people and all that, so they can feel happy for you too. They know about all those things too, but maybe you could share some of your light with them. You know what I mean? I think they have changed a lot. But I worry so much that they let themselves get so confused about the Truth. I bet you would be really good at letting some little words from the heart go in through the back door so they can find their way to the control room!
Hang in there, Mick! You´re doing a lot with your life, and if God is good and gives you a long one, you´ve got a long road ahead of you, and a tough mission. Patience every step of the way!! God´s all-knowing hand is writing our life story, and we don´t want to get too much in the way by telling Him how to write it. Even though life gets harder, it seems easier because we let Him get closer.
What did you ever do about the camera idea?
We all miss you bunches and bushels and heaps and truckloads!! God bless you every minute!!
All my love, Ma
That´s great that you get up early and are neat!! Miracles happen all the time!! haha. Grammy and Gramps asked about you. Do you write to them? They would love to hear from you. They are very interested about your experience. I think you should take advantage of the fact that it has been such a positive experience to tell them some of those heavy things you wrote to us about appreciating people and all that, so they can feel happy for you too. They know about all those things too, but maybe you could share some of your light with them. You know what I mean? I think they have changed a lot. But I worry so much that they let themselves get so confused about the Truth. I bet you would be really good at letting some little words from the heart go in through the back door so they can find their way to the control room!
Hang in there, Mick! You´re doing a lot with your life, and if God is good and gives you a long one, you´ve got a long road ahead of you, and a tough mission. Patience every step of the way!! God´s all-knowing hand is writing our life story, and we don´t want to get too much in the way by telling Him how to write it. Even though life gets harder, it seems easier because we let Him get closer.
What did you ever do about the camera idea?
We all miss you bunches and bushels and heaps and truckloads!! God bless you every minute!!
All my love, Ma
Monday, April 12, 2010
wisdom-understanding-knowledge
I've been remembering a lot of things I have not thought about for a long time. Maybe its the silence in the nature that surrounds me that has woken up a lot of memories I had stored away. My life seems so tragic and sad, if I look at it all put together, but when I break it up in tiny little pieces it seems so real and unique.
Maybe I hide these things away because only I see the bright side. Not to say that my life was happy, because it was not; but simply to say that all these sad and broken experiences don't define me as the person I am now.
What a relief it has been to get to know God, not as a name or an authority, but as a person.
I can't see Him, and sometimes I know I can hear Him... That's not much of a communicative type of person, seeing it from a human point of view, but only knowing He is real and alive makes me want to pursue Him and get to know Him more and more.
I don't look back at my life and think how unlucky I was, and I don't envy other peoples life either. I have developed an instinctive curiosity for other families and relationships though... I want to observe how real families work, and how loving fathers treat their children. If I could choose my father to have been loving, I don't think I would. The way I see him is so distant and cold that actually thinking of him being warm gives me the creeps. I don't wish to change my past, I think it has formed me to be the person I am, and maybe what keeps me hopeful is the dream of some way correcting his mistakes with my future.
When I try to figure out why my heart is broken, I don't understand how little things can hurt me when I have gone through so much. Maybe I thought or made up that God had given me enough suffering for one life. Maybe I was expecting it to be my way from 2005 on.
God teaches me to hope, and to love. That is what I did, and that is what I do. So if I look at it that way, this all must be part of His carpenter work on me. I am willing to keep being formed, but I am afraid of walking by my own footsteps and not by His. I feel, and am certain, that He has guided me through all this. He has consoled me, he has given me little gifts along the way.
I don't want to make a list of all the tragedies in my life, but I know it's important to not forget them, because they are a part of me. Maybe growing up in an insensible type of home has made me insensible about those things, but then, if I could be "sensible" to them, what would be the use of lamenting myself all day long?
I don't know if some day I will love my father, I don't know if I will ever know what the image of a healthy father is. I want freedom so one day I can give freedom to the father of my children.
I don't want this to be about me. I know I need healing, and that I'm broken in many places, but it makes me uncomfortable to draw attention in to my past. I don't have secrets, and I am willing to share anything about myself, but I don't like to be in the spotlight -and it sort of requires a spotlight if it's going out to the light at all.-
I feel like it is time to surrender inside, and not worry about the outside. There is some rason why I am all the way out here -you would think Costa Rica is all the way out here, but it's not, this is- He has taken me out here for a reason.
It's like a nest, when I can just lie inside the egg, under God's warm wing. It will be time soon to break the egg and fly, but now I just feel like I don't even have to put words to my prayers, He is so close to me and He is watching me grow.
I should not be afraid of being feeble and weak, maybe I can be, for once in my life. Maybe I should renew my perspective about being fragile and broken, maybe it's not a bad thing to be. I am so afraid of being weak.
I haven't ever let myself be weak, only during very short periods of time. -And well- in the presence of God.
I see myself as a strong person, I pride myself of my hardships, because I can use them to help others. Sickness, anger, rejection, poverty, deceit, danger, loneliness... They are big things, but, so many people suffer more, so many people don't have a way out... I got the way out. Why would my life be important to talk about if the bad times have already passed? Should I, and we, not focus on active problems? I just want others to open up so I can share my piece of pie.
So... God... Heal me and free me, and show me when to speak. I trust you, and I want to know you. Continue your plan in me, I want your kingdom to come.
Maybe I hide these things away because only I see the bright side. Not to say that my life was happy, because it was not; but simply to say that all these sad and broken experiences don't define me as the person I am now.
What a relief it has been to get to know God, not as a name or an authority, but as a person.
I can't see Him, and sometimes I know I can hear Him... That's not much of a communicative type of person, seeing it from a human point of view, but only knowing He is real and alive makes me want to pursue Him and get to know Him more and more.
I don't look back at my life and think how unlucky I was, and I don't envy other peoples life either. I have developed an instinctive curiosity for other families and relationships though... I want to observe how real families work, and how loving fathers treat their children. If I could choose my father to have been loving, I don't think I would. The way I see him is so distant and cold that actually thinking of him being warm gives me the creeps. I don't wish to change my past, I think it has formed me to be the person I am, and maybe what keeps me hopeful is the dream of some way correcting his mistakes with my future.
When I try to figure out why my heart is broken, I don't understand how little things can hurt me when I have gone through so much. Maybe I thought or made up that God had given me enough suffering for one life. Maybe I was expecting it to be my way from 2005 on.
God teaches me to hope, and to love. That is what I did, and that is what I do. So if I look at it that way, this all must be part of His carpenter work on me. I am willing to keep being formed, but I am afraid of walking by my own footsteps and not by His. I feel, and am certain, that He has guided me through all this. He has consoled me, he has given me little gifts along the way.
I don't want to make a list of all the tragedies in my life, but I know it's important to not forget them, because they are a part of me. Maybe growing up in an insensible type of home has made me insensible about those things, but then, if I could be "sensible" to them, what would be the use of lamenting myself all day long?
I don't know if some day I will love my father, I don't know if I will ever know what the image of a healthy father is. I want freedom so one day I can give freedom to the father of my children.
I don't want this to be about me. I know I need healing, and that I'm broken in many places, but it makes me uncomfortable to draw attention in to my past. I don't have secrets, and I am willing to share anything about myself, but I don't like to be in the spotlight -and it sort of requires a spotlight if it's going out to the light at all.-
I feel like it is time to surrender inside, and not worry about the outside. There is some rason why I am all the way out here -you would think Costa Rica is all the way out here, but it's not, this is- He has taken me out here for a reason.
It's like a nest, when I can just lie inside the egg, under God's warm wing. It will be time soon to break the egg and fly, but now I just feel like I don't even have to put words to my prayers, He is so close to me and He is watching me grow.
I should not be afraid of being feeble and weak, maybe I can be, for once in my life. Maybe I should renew my perspective about being fragile and broken, maybe it's not a bad thing to be. I am so afraid of being weak.
I haven't ever let myself be weak, only during very short periods of time. -And well- in the presence of God.
I see myself as a strong person, I pride myself of my hardships, because I can use them to help others. Sickness, anger, rejection, poverty, deceit, danger, loneliness... They are big things, but, so many people suffer more, so many people don't have a way out... I got the way out. Why would my life be important to talk about if the bad times have already passed? Should I, and we, not focus on active problems? I just want others to open up so I can share my piece of pie.
So... God... Heal me and free me, and show me when to speak. I trust you, and I want to know you. Continue your plan in me, I want your kingdom to come.
Proverbs 24:3 (The Message)
3-4 It takes wisdom to build a house,
and understanding to set it on a firm foundation;
It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms
with fine furniture and beautiful draperies.
and understanding to set it on a firm foundation;
It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms
with fine furniture and beautiful draperies.
Matthew 5
You're Blessed
1-2 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Tough
Tough tough week... almost unbearable, and worse with the pass of time. I hope I get some light soon.
I'm still trusting this is where I have to be.
I'm still trusting this is where I have to be.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Amazing!
Amazing amazing amazing God!!! You listen to the little desires of my heart, and you surprise me every day... now how can I doubt about the big things, when you give me all these little gifts!You told me to be patient, oh God, how hard!!! You tell me you have big things for me, now what should I expect! It's like having a big gift under the tree, and having to wait till Christmas to open it... Would I rather not see any gift at all? Would I be satisfied then?
You reminded me that everything I have is really yours, including my talents, including my gifts... Do your will with me, take everything and make wonders for your glory!
What would I give to be in your presence right now, in your kingdom... Give me a little shack, where I can peek through every morning and admire the colors of your creation!
Please take away my fears, please heal my broken heart. Let my thoughts be only of love, and not regret or anger. Show me how to serve you with everything I have. Humble me and transform me. Make me invisible, so I can be a window to your glory.
Remind me everyday that you are with me, and speak precious words into my soul. Thank you for your comforting whispers.
I love you.
Friday, March 19, 2010
For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.
You never saw him, yet you love him. You still don't see him, yet you trust him—with laughter and singing. Because you kept on believing, you'll get what you're looking forward to: total salvation.
Word
Psalm 119
My troubles turned out all for the best—
they forced me to learn from your textbook.
Truth from your mouth means more to me
than striking it rich in a gold mine.
John 21:25
There are so many other things Jesus did. If they were all written down, each of them, one by one, I can't imagine a world big enough to hold such a library of books.
SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE CRIES OUT FOR YOU!
I am in love...
My troubles turned out all for the best—
they forced me to learn from your textbook.
Truth from your mouth means more to me
than striking it rich in a gold mine.
John 21:25
There are so many other things Jesus did. If they were all written down, each of them, one by one, I can't imagine a world big enough to hold such a library of books.
SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE CRIES OUT FOR YOU!
I am in love...
Monday, March 15, 2010
Adam is a sinner, and so is Eve
God knows our deepest desires... even more than we realize. Thank you Lord for looking into my heart and granting me that what I really desired.
I do not tire when I repeat over and over that You know me. Keep me close, give me words for others. Give me the words you speak silently into my soul.
Take my life and shape it, only you know the perfect way. Keep putting people in my path- those who speak truth of you, and also those who need you.
Have my tongue and use it, so my words only speak of you.
Replenish those parts of me that are dry and hard. Teach me to love those who are liars, those who are vain, proud or seeking for attention. You know my thoughts, you know my battles, you know who I can't easily love.
I have it all with you Lord, and I will believe you provide.
Teach me how to use all that that you give me, let me not waste or misuse.
Guide me Lord, through hard times, stay close to me every moment.
Let your Holy Spirit travel with me, wherever I go.
Save me from growing proud or conceited. Keep me humble. Take my mind and my body and make me pure.
Prepare me for a man, who I can be faithful to, my entire life. Make me worthy of a true husband, who will respect me and love me; for I am willing to love as you command.
I hand over to you all the pain, the sin and brokenness from earlier relationships in my life, so you can come in and satisfy all my needs. Remind me every day that no man compares to You, Lord, remind me that Adam is a sinner, and so is Eve. Let your healing power overcome all anger or slight hint of hate.
Grant me patience Lord, so I won't hurry and make hasty decisions. Guide my steps.
Show me what it means to have a loving Father.
Give me wisdom, strength, words and art.
I do not tire when I repeat over and over that You know me. Keep me close, give me words for others. Give me the words you speak silently into my soul.
Take my life and shape it, only you know the perfect way. Keep putting people in my path- those who speak truth of you, and also those who need you.
Have my tongue and use it, so my words only speak of you.
Replenish those parts of me that are dry and hard. Teach me to love those who are liars, those who are vain, proud or seeking for attention. You know my thoughts, you know my battles, you know who I can't easily love.
I have it all with you Lord, and I will believe you provide.
Teach me how to use all that that you give me, let me not waste or misuse.
Guide me Lord, through hard times, stay close to me every moment.
Let your Holy Spirit travel with me, wherever I go.
Save me from growing proud or conceited. Keep me humble. Take my mind and my body and make me pure.
Prepare me for a man, who I can be faithful to, my entire life. Make me worthy of a true husband, who will respect me and love me; for I am willing to love as you command.
I hand over to you all the pain, the sin and brokenness from earlier relationships in my life, so you can come in and satisfy all my needs. Remind me every day that no man compares to You, Lord, remind me that Adam is a sinner, and so is Eve. Let your healing power overcome all anger or slight hint of hate.
Grant me patience Lord, so I won't hurry and make hasty decisions. Guide my steps.
Show me what it means to have a loving Father.
Give me wisdom, strength, words and art.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Nothing but a Wisp of Fog
James 4:14-15
14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."
Psalm 119
The unfolding of your words gives me light, it imparts understanding to the simple.
Trouble and anguish have found me out, but your commandments are my delight.
According to your justice give me life!
Trouble and anguish have found me out, but your commandments are my delight.
According to your justice give me life!
Genesis 1
2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
3 And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
The light came before the sun or the stars! On totally different days! The light was the first thing he ever created!
Friday, March 5, 2010
Cuentacuentos
Tan pronto como cortamos el hilo invisible que nos unía, voló hacia donde estaba ella y le proclamó su libertad. Ya no existía yo, ya no importaba mi corazón.
Él y ella. Yo los uní en mi mente antes de que ellos pudieran decírselo el uno al otro.
Mi naturaleza femenina no falló.
Ahora ellos suspiran el uno por el otro, y el viento me trae el aroma de sus alientos entremezlados.
Pienso en mis rincones preferidos. Habrán sido ya descubiertos, habrán sido ya acariciados, arremedando los caminos que yo dibujé?
Ni un solo instante pasaron por su cabeza los sobros. Una historia más para seducir, para demostrar su hombría... su fuerza de voluntad.
Qué hábil distorsión creará... que palabras inocentes?
Tibio engaño, hábil cuentacuentos.
Él y ella. Yo los uní en mi mente antes de que ellos pudieran decírselo el uno al otro.
Mi naturaleza femenina no falló.
Ahora ellos suspiran el uno por el otro, y el viento me trae el aroma de sus alientos entremezlados.
Pienso en mis rincones preferidos. Habrán sido ya descubiertos, habrán sido ya acariciados, arremedando los caminos que yo dibujé?
Ni un solo instante pasaron por su cabeza los sobros. Una historia más para seducir, para demostrar su hombría... su fuerza de voluntad.
Qué hábil distorsión creará... que palabras inocentes?
Tibio engaño, hábil cuentacuentos.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Color
Guide my every step, God. Heal my heart and make it new, refresh me with your beauty.
Fill me with colors, my Creator.
Fill me with images. Give me the capacity to show you to others.
Let me be your apprentice God, teach me your art-making skills.
Blow me away and bring me back to basics.
Your puzzle is beautiful God, you are perfect, you are wise.
I am your little child, hug me and comfort me in your arms, Father. Be my Father.
Thank you God.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
God is Good!
God thank you for saving me from so many things!
Thank you for my country.
Thank you for my health.
Thank you for my family.
Thank you for my friends.
Thank you for my school.
Thank you for saving me from loans.
Thank you saving me from credit.
Thank you for my voice.
Thank you for my eyes.
Thank you for my legs.
Thank you for my teeth.
Thank you for my fingers.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
You are good!
Thank you for my country.
Thank you for my health.
Thank you for my family.
Thank you for my friends.
Thank you for my school.
Thank you for saving me from loans.
Thank you saving me from credit.
Thank you for my voice.
Thank you for my eyes.
Thank you for my legs.
Thank you for my teeth.
Thank you for my fingers.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
You are good!
Hippie
PEACE AND LOVE!!!
That describes my heart and my day!!
God consoles me, God strengthens me, God is my joy!!!
GOD IS REAL!!!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
1 Corinthians 13 - The Way of Love
12We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
13But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Surrendered
In my heart of hearts where these battles rage
My strength it fails and my courage fades
In my distress I cry aloud to You
My strength it fails and my courage fades
In my distress I cry aloud to You
Thank you/ carve me
My Lord, my father, my protector, my creator.
I have not stopped and thanked you Lord, for what you have done for me. I wish to worship you with all my heart.
You give me water. You heal me, you show me love.
You are the carpenter who is carving me. Chipping wood off my rough edges. The pain will pass. Deep peeling pain, humiliation, defenselessness.
YOU are the ONLY one who will not fail, Lord.
You guide my steps in the darkness.
I adore you, I worship you. And now I can say wholeheartedly that I TRUST YOU. I trust you, I trust you, I trust you.
Help me to forgive those people who have hurt me. Forgive me for turning my eyes to humans and not to you. Forgive me for giving my love and admiration to those who do not deserve it. Forgive me for lending my body to anyone but you. Forgive me for not forgiving.
Give me the new life you promise God, but above all do YOUR WILL with me. Do anything. I TRUST you God.
CARVE ME like you are doing. It hurts God, it hurts so much... But you are with me, you console me. That is all I want. Stay with me, CHANGE ME.
Holy You are
Perfect and pure You are
Everything right You are
Yes, You are
Broken am I
Full of discord am I
Hungry for change am I
Oh, am I
Oh, to be like You
Oh, to reflect the God I know
The love You've shown
This is my longing
This is my deepest, strongest plea
Lord, change me
Would You change me?
Would You change me?
Love You are
Spirit and truth You are
Everything right/good You are
Yes, You are
Humbled am I
Contrite of spirit am I
Open to You am I
Oh, am I
I have not stopped and thanked you Lord, for what you have done for me. I wish to worship you with all my heart.
You give me water. You heal me, you show me love.
You are the carpenter who is carving me. Chipping wood off my rough edges. The pain will pass. Deep peeling pain, humiliation, defenselessness.
YOU are the ONLY one who will not fail, Lord.
You guide my steps in the darkness.
I adore you, I worship you. And now I can say wholeheartedly that I TRUST YOU. I trust you, I trust you, I trust you.
Help me to forgive those people who have hurt me. Forgive me for turning my eyes to humans and not to you. Forgive me for giving my love and admiration to those who do not deserve it. Forgive me for lending my body to anyone but you. Forgive me for not forgiving.
Give me the new life you promise God, but above all do YOUR WILL with me. Do anything. I TRUST you God.
CARVE ME like you are doing. It hurts God, it hurts so much... But you are with me, you console me. That is all I want. Stay with me, CHANGE ME.
Holy You are
Perfect and pure You are
Everything right You are
Yes, You are
Broken am I
Full of discord am I
Hungry for change am I
Oh, am I
Oh, to be like You
Oh, to reflect the God I know
The love You've shown
This is my longing
This is my deepest, strongest plea
Lord, change me
Would You change me?
Would You change me?
Love You are
Spirit and truth You are
Everything right/good You are
Yes, You are
Humbled am I
Contrite of spirit am I
Open to You am I
Oh, am I
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Shattered
Shattered, broken heart. Humiliated, disappointed and hurt.
My trust went so far... and now I feel like I gave it in vain.
Over and over again God reminds me than man is imperfect, and that includes me.
God, heal my broken heart. Help me to want good for all people, even the ones that hurt me. Revenge, even most subtle, is never the answer.
If this is your plan, God, let it be.
My trust went so far... and now I feel like I gave it in vain.
Over and over again God reminds me than man is imperfect, and that includes me.
God, heal my broken heart. Help me to want good for all people, even the ones that hurt me. Revenge, even most subtle, is never the answer.
If this is your plan, God, let it be.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
He knows me
God is just SO faithful... Trust has it's amazing reward. It brings down your pride and is difficult, but peace comes after the storm.
He knows our deepest fears and desires. He gives the HOPE.
The love for a man is beautiful and amazing, but sooner or later it will hurt.
The love for God is complete and faithful, ALWAYS.
God will never fail. Men will fail.
He knows our deepest fears and desires. He gives the HOPE.
The love for a man is beautiful and amazing, but sooner or later it will hurt.
The love for God is complete and faithful, ALWAYS.
God will never fail. Men will fail.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Ecclesiastes 3
I've also concluded that whatever God does, that's the way it's going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God's done it and that's it. That's so we'll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.
Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That's how it always is with God.
Whatever was, is.
Whatever will be, is.
That's how it always is with God.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Fall into you - Phil Wickham
Oh who am I that Your merciful eyes should fall on me
A sinner a fool, who doesn’t deserve You
And what am I that you’d offer Your life and die for me
What can I do, I’m nothing without You, I’m nothing without You
I’m nothing without You my love, my saving love
So I fall into You, I’m desperate and weak
Crying out from my heart, take all of me
How can it be that the heart of my God would long for me
For all that You do, Jesus I love You, I’ll Always Love You
Jesus I love You with all of my heart
Maker of sun and moon and stars
I throw myself into Your arms, into Your arms
A sinner a fool, who doesn’t deserve You
And what am I that you’d offer Your life and die for me
What can I do, I’m nothing without You, I’m nothing without You
I’m nothing without You my love, my saving love
So I fall into You, I’m desperate and weak
Crying out from my heart, take all of me
How can it be that the heart of my God would long for me
For all that You do, Jesus I love You, I’ll Always Love You
Jesus I love You with all of my heart
Maker of sun and moon and stars
I throw myself into Your arms, into Your arms
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Moving on
I hate pictures where the person for some reason is sticking out their tongue, and I see bright red, yellow, GREEN and even brown tongues! Gross.
Facebook has its evil. Peeking around people's life is not healthy. It may even cause unrepairable damage to ones heart.
Taking one step at a time. Filling in the black spaces in the pictures of my life. Blurry or not.
Loving intimate moments of pure worship.
Laughing or even smiling.
Being single. Totally single for once in my life.
Feeling exited about going to the unknown, uncertain place.
Not knowing who I will meet, who I will love.
FEELING NEW FEELINGS, moving on.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Israel Houghton — I Receive lyrics
Accepted, highly favored of the Lord
Forgiven by Your love I am transformed
It's not what I'll do but what You've done for me
And by Your grace oh God I stand with my head held high
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted, oh
Established, ever blameless in Your Son
Forever I am chosen to be loved
It's not by my works, by Your work in me, yeah
And by Your grace oh God I stand with my head held high
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted
Behold all things have been made new
My past has gone, my shame renewed
You gave Your Son Your love for me
Now at the cross I am made free
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted
I receive Your love
Where would I be?
Where would I be if not for Your grace?
Forgiven by Your love I am transformed
It's not what I'll do but what You've done for me
And by Your grace oh God I stand with my head held high
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted, oh
Established, ever blameless in Your Son
Forever I am chosen to be loved
It's not by my works, by Your work in me, yeah
And by Your grace oh God I stand with my head held high
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted
Behold all things have been made new
My past has gone, my shame renewed
You gave Your Son Your love for me
Now at the cross I am made free
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted
I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me
I receive Your love, I know I am accepted
I receive Your love
Where would I be?
Where would I be if not for Your grace?
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Peace
God spoke to my heart today. I feel so much peace. He told me he loved me, with the most perfect kind of love.
He has sorted out each piece of my life. He told me to look back, and now I see why he permitted each part of my broken life... and He has challenged me to trust him with my future.
He has left me with a phrase to meditate on: "You are my joy".
Matthew 4:19-20 (The Message)
18-20Walking along the beach of Lake Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers: Simon (later called Peter) and Andrew. They were fishing, throwing their nets into the lake. It was their regular work. Jesus said to them, "Come with me. I'll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I'll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass." They didn't ask questions, but simply dropped their nets and followed.
This now means something to me.
He has sorted out each piece of my life. He told me to look back, and now I see why he permitted each part of my broken life... and He has challenged me to trust him with my future.
He has left me with a phrase to meditate on: "You are my joy".
Matthew 4:19-20 (The Message)
18-20Walking along the beach of Lake Galilee, Jesus saw two brothers: Simon (later called Peter) and Andrew. They were fishing, throwing their nets into the lake. It was their regular work. Jesus said to them, "Come with me. I'll make a new kind of fisherman out of you. I'll show you how to catch men and women instead of perch and bass." They didn't ask questions, but simply dropped their nets and followed.
This now means something to me.
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